Ailurophile eye-LOOR-uh-fyle (noun): a cat fancier; a lover of cats. If you fit this definition, you’re part of an elite group we call “cat people.” And any self-respecting cat person will read these tweets and say, “THIS IS MY LIFE.”
You may not have large groups of friends (human friends, anyway) or a jam-packed social calendar …
When a cat lady calls her friends. pic.twitter.com/ST601qBVcD
— The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) September 7, 2019
… and they’re missing out, because cat people are awesome.
Deep down I’ve always felt like I’m a fabulous gay man trapped inside the body of a cranky old cat lady.
— Sadie Smith 2.0 (@SadieSkyNinja) September 10, 2019
But you’re not mad about it, because you have something better than all that. CATSSSSSSSS.
— Dona (@thedonamari) September 12, 2019
And if you have cats, and love cats, you probably relate a little too hard to the following tweet:
— 🎃autumnal Dean🍂 (@ItsMeDeaner) September 7, 2019
But it doesn’t matter, because that next-level kitty cuteness is enough to make you literally swoon.
excuse me 911? yes i’m calling because my cat’s head is very small. her head is so small, and soft, like a little apricot, which is why i need an ambulance
— Rave Sashayed (@_sashayed) September 5, 2019
It even makes them worth cleaning up after … every damn day, or else.
Sometimes I let the litter box cleaning go just ONE day too long and suddenly it’s a nuclear threat situation and I’d almost rather leave everything behind and move because that seems much more reasonable #catlady #catlife #catsofinstagram
— Wino Hillary (@hillarybeth) September 4, 2019
Cat people know that you can’t deny the absolute truth of this Venn diagram realness:
— Charlie Rolsky (@Lab_Casual) September 12, 2019
But despite their antics, you don’t know who you even are without your cats around.
On a mini vacation. Woke up this morning in our hotel room and husband saw me frowning to myself. He immediately asked me; “What’s wrong? Do you wish the cats were here?” 😂 #catlady
— Meaghan Oppenheimer (@MoppyOpps) August 23, 2019
Other people might not understand the ways you bond with your fave felines …
Every night before bed, I sing to my cat, to the tune of Starship’s “We Built This City,”
“We bought this kitty… We bought this kitty and brought her hooome.” pic.twitter.com/W5G1Z8p5Zf
— Adam Ellis (ಥ﹏ಥ) (@moby_dickhead) September 12, 2019
They might even use words like “over the top” and “obsessed” to describe your love of cats.
— Nicole Pacent (@NicolePacent) February 26, 2019
And okay, maybe even the word “weird.”
When I break apart a treat for my cat I set down the pieces saying, “Here’s some punkin pie. And here’s some stuffing and gravy. And here’s a little bit a that casserole you were raving about!”
I guess what I wanna know is should I pitch this as a mini series?
— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) September 12, 2019
But you don’t care about anybody’s opinion. Except your cat’s, of course.
I…….made matching shirts for me and my cat pic.twitter.com/n5DBT4d8Uc
— Errin (@errrrrrrrrrrin) September 11, 2019
Even if your cat-fancying ways spill over into other areas of your life, you just brush the haters away.
— CGTN (@CGTNOfficial) September 12, 2019
Because you know that cats are good for the self esteem.
— Jade (@JadedHalifax) September 13, 2019
And anyway, your true friends know where your priorities lie. (Usually in a patch of sun, or on your keyboard while you’re trying to type.)
— elif (@elifxsaa) September 12, 2019
Is “sorry if I reply slowly, my cat is between me and my keyboard” a good excuse? #crazycatman
— Frédéric Harper @ Web Unleashed (@fharper) September 3, 2019
PRIORITIES, people. Cats > everything.
I told my boss last night that if my cat went into labor today I would not be there tonight.
He just laughed.
— Hollie Hausenfluck (@HollieWrites13) March 17, 2018
Which is why nobody is ever surprised when you drop an announcement like this:
We got two more cats.
— Kevin (@FightOwensFight) September 12, 2019
Or make (excessive) social media posts like these. I mean, if you don’t spam everyone with cat photos, are you really even a cat person?
Nobody asked for it but here are pictures of my cat pic.twitter.com/GmIDkk9ZcZ
— Hannah (@Hannahbrws) September 12, 2019
At least you can represent on social media … on behalf of all the cat people before you who didn’t have that opportunity.
I found a photo of me from a past life.
— Eileen Anglin (@EileenAnglinVO) September 6, 2019
You might be perpetually peppered with cat fur, and get a little (or a lot) of side-eye from people who just don’t get it. But rest assured, there are plenty of us who do … on Twitter, anyway, where you can find your fellow cat people without getting up.
Because all cat people know you don’t get up when there’s a kitty on your lap.
i wanted to go to sleep but my cat came over & fell asleep in this really awkward upside down position on my leg so now i can’t move becAUSE I LOVE HER
— Kylie Owens (@kylielowens) September 12, 2019
My cat is laying on my feet. I can feel the stars coming but, alas, I can’t move and risk disturbing her. Goodbye, feet.
— Heather M. (@hmillls) September 13, 2019
Sorry I can’t come into work today, my cat is cuddling with me so I’m refusing to move
— Danielle (@danielleashh) September 13, 2019
Cat people, unite. When you’re allowed to get out of your seat, that is.