Like many people, I can’t afford weekly or even twice monthly therapy appointments. I probably need them, but other necessities higher on my list crowd out that expense. It is what it is. So, when I feel anxiety and depression nibbling away at my inner peace and contentment, I generally turn to a standard series of remedies to help keep myself stable: talk to a friend, get some exercise, eat healthier, get more sleep. Most of us have our go-to tactics we use to give ourselves a little lift, even if we don’t have a trusted therapist on hand.
I have now added a recent Twitter thread to my toolbox of coping mechanisms I can reach for to give myself some relief. It’s the “free therapy” tweet, started by Caroline Moss, retweeted over 10,000 times, and with nearly 4,000 responses. People are happily sharing the most useful nuggets of wisdom they’ve picked up in therapy, and it’s a veritable goldmine of comforting AF advice.
Of course, this isn’t intended to replace professional help if you need it, but if you are looking for some extra tips, this is incredibly helpful.
If you go to therapy quote tweet this with the best thing you learned at therapy that way everyone else can get free therapy
— Caroline Moss (@CarolineMoss) November 24, 2019
One user said their therapist advised to avoid saying “should.” Another user responded that their therapist had told them to “Stop shoulding all over yourself.” (So clever.) Yet another reply suggested that replacing “should” with “could” is a great way to get around that stifling feeling of obligation and flip it into a feeling of possibility, which is so much more positive. I already feel more motivated.
Below are some of the other gems from the thread, but honestly we recommend you save this one for future reference. It’ll come in handy when your day is in the shitter and you know there’s no damn way you’re getting in to see a therapist anytime soon.
When meeting new people, don’t think about it as trying to get them to like you- think about it as trying to see if you like them / if you get along with them. Rather than focusing on what they must be thinking about you, focus on what you think about them. Changed my life.
— Sailor Nichols 💖💜💙 (@sailboatsail) November 25, 2019
I already feel less anxious about volunteering at my kid’s school tomorrow with a bunch of other parents I don’t know.
I am/was often putting my interests and wishes aside just to please people around me. My therapist then told me: “If you continue like that, you will never lose your friends, family or your job, but you will lose yourself”. Hit me hard.
— Egor G. (@egorevv) November 25, 2019
*head exploding* (But also, duh?)
Confrontation doesn’t need to be a bad thing or an argument. If you’re having trouble talking about a problem, try writing down a bullet list of the issues, why it’s an issue/where it might stem from for you, and what can be done to fix it
— Dominic Mendez (@domendezz) November 25, 2019
This is a good one for confrontation-haters (raises hand). I’ve been known to take index cards into a situation where I know confrontation will be required.
“The problem is you are thinking rational when you are dealing with somebody who is irrational.”
— Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) November 25, 2019
I need to have a tiny flag sticking out of my phone that has this emblazoned upon it.
The best thing a therapist ever told me is that society doesn’t need to be the one to set me schedule. I’m allowed to eat breakfast at 11, go to bed at 1am. There’s no correct mold to fit, just find whatever works best for me.
— 🤔 (@_sputnik1) November 25, 2019
Realizing this and embracing it is when your life truly begins.
That everyone needs a coping mechanism. There are bad ones( drinking, drugs, violence) and good ones (excercise, meditation, therapy). Pick a good one so you can avoid the bad ones, bc we all have things we needs to cope with.
— DemoChrissy (@DemoChrissy) November 25, 2019
Oh my god, yes. BRB, need to go to the gym.
When I told my therapist that I needed to shut myself off completely to keep from being hurt, she asked me to make a fist & asked how fatiguing it would be to clench it closed to prevent anything from entering. Being closed tightly would likely result in being tired AND empty.
— MommyUnit of Peace,Love & Feral Typos (@MommyUnit) November 25, 2019
I actually felt my shoulders relax when I read this one.
Someone’s very best effort at loving you still may not be the thing that you need. it doesn’t mean they’re not trying hard enough, or don’t love you enough. It means that’s all they’re capable of doing. And you have to decide if that’s what you’re willing to live with.
— K J (@kjones912) November 25, 2019
Oooof. So real it hurts.
There are tons more gems like this. I’m definitely keeping this one handy to scroll through when I need a dose of perspective.
Now, to be clear, as mentioned above, none of the preceding should be construed as medical advice. If you are depressed, or if you’re having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, reach out to a medical professional or a loved one for help. And if you are having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.