BRB, finding an old lip balm tube to make my own secret cheese snack
Everyone knows the feeling of being stuck in class or a meeting when your tummy starts to rumble. What you would give for a quick, sneaky snack in those moments. Luckily, a 9-year-old girl from Missouri has forever solved our snackless meeting woes by finding a way you can sneakily have a bite or two of cheese no matter where you are.
The girl, whose name hasn’t been shared, came up with a truly genius solution to her problem of having no cheese at school: She sliced tiny circles of sharp cheddar and then stacked them in an old, empty lip balm tube so she could pull it out in class and have a few licks — or a bite. Her mom, Valerie Schremp Hahn, shared a photo of her ingenuity on Twitter and I just — I’m shook by the brilliance of this youth.
My 9-year-old daughter has taken an old lip balm tube and filled it with cheese so she can eat it in class. pic.twitter.com/YEAqZx2wnr
— Valerie Schremp Hahn 📰 (@valeriehahn) September 17, 2019
The kid said she got the idea from a prank video on YouTube.
“I was just looking on YouTube because I was bored and I found this video and I decided to do it,” she told Buzzfeed. “I just took some of my dad’s cheese, sliced it up, and put it in the chapstick container. I just found that, cleaned it out with some soap, and started filling it with cheese.”
In case anyone is wondering, she used sharp cheddar from Aldi. Yep, this kid is brilliant and has great taste.
She said she took two of what she called “cheese stick chapsticks” to school and took some licks and bites during class breaks. Her friends didn’t know at first that it was cheese, which only added to the comedic effect.
“You can lick it and no one will know,” she said. “At first I didn’t tell them and I was like licking the, quote, ‘cheese,’ and then I told them it was cheese and they just started laughing so hard.”
You know who else is laughing so hard? The entire internet. Mom’s tweet went viral and people all over the world are praising this kid for solving a snacking problem for the ages.
She is genius and will the millionaire who takes care of you in your old age.
— Aisha Sultan (@AishaS) September 17, 2019
In 20 yrs, this tweet will be cast in gold on her wall as the CEO of Charcuterie Balm International.
— Ross of Ottawa (@ottaross) September 19, 2019
Your daughter is living in 2079 and we are all still here in 2019.
— Shannon Miller (@notthegymnast) September 18, 2019
I respect both her ingenuity and love of cheese! That’s one cool 9 year old you’ve got there! 💄 🧀
— Amanda B (@EastTNGrl) September 18, 2019
My sides and face hurt from laughing. I am also ashamed because I never thought of this.
— 7th Ward Woman (@stl7thward) September 18, 2019
This very accurate comparison to another visionary thinker was made, NBD.
— Tyler Wing (@Docktor_What) September 18, 2019
Further confirmation that the future is female.
— Tiffany Adamson (@shelikesfacts) September 18, 2019
Patent that shit before [email protected] sees it.
— Mask *maskemoji* (@OctopusMask) September 18, 2019
I believe the children are our future. Teach them well, and let them lead the way.
Your daughter gives me hope.
— slippery slope (@ontheouts) September 18, 2019
And then this guy said what we were all thinking.
If only we’d had YouTube in college, we could’ve done with this with cocaine. (Kidding! Kidding!)
— Kevin McDermott (@kevinmcdermott) September 18, 2019
This is great because cheese is great, and always having a snack in your purse or backpack is even greater. Truly, this little girl has given us a gift that will keep on giving, every time we get a rumbly tummy in a meeting.
As far as plans for future cheese sneaking, Schremp Hahn tells Scary Mommy that production has, uh, stalled. “This morning at breakfast she took them out of her backpack (her non-refrigerated backpack, I should add) and the cheese left inside was a bit greasy and funky. So back to the drawing board, I guess.” LOL, guess so. Can’t be eating greasy stank cheese.
Despite the eventual downfall of her truly brilliant idea, her family’s nothing but proud. Schremp Hahn tells us, “We think this is all pretty hilarious, though I’m giving her trouble that she didn’t actually come up with the idea that she got from YouTube. She’s a pretty clever, funny kid, and was already rummaging around in our basement last night for parts for her next big innovation/invention.” Oh, and she did get a shoutout in the principal’s newsletter, which Schremp Hahn says is her idea of “hitting the big-time.”
So once she figures out how to keep that cheddar cold, this brilliant kiddo can solve the next problem — figuring out what household containers to use to disguise salami and crackers to go with it.