My Husband Was Supposed To Be A One-Night Stand

My Husband Was Supposed To Be A One-Night Stand

There is no difference in a man having a one-night stand versus a woman having a one-night stand. But yet, women are scolded while men are cheered. What the hell? This is the 21st century — its high time all of us are enlightened.

One-night stands are not about a lack of control. They are about enjoying one’s self with another person without giving a damn about the brand that might follow soon after the fact. 

Because if a man respects a woman as a human being, he will not discriminate against her for choosing to “give up the goods” after a first date. He just won’t. Because a man who would ever leave a woman feeling like shit after consensual sex is not a man at all. He is a piece of scum treating another human being like a piece of property that he can do with as he pleases.

And since we’re already brewing on the topic, what does “giving up the goods” even mean? That’s offensive, and it’s an entirely untrue statement about my personal lady-bits. Because they shouldn’t, and never will be, labeled as “the goods.” That’s far too passive, and it makes me feel like I’m smuggling a bag of sugar around down there.

So let’s stop trying to slut shame women for merely being human. There’s nothing wrong with a consensual one-night stand if you are safe and smart about it.

So please stop trying to make excuses for our adult behavior. There are no excuses for my one-night stands unless I am the one providing them. Enough with the titles and the reasonings behind everything which ultimately is gossip. Quit trying to make things into what they are not. 

For example, let’s bag up and drown the term “daddy issues” as a reason for having sex. Do you know how tacky and naïve that sounds? Because I don’t know about every other woman out there, but my dad is not on my mind when I’m about to get it on. EWWWW. So let’s stop placing that on the women who are bold enough to get exactly what it is that they want when they want it. 

And while we’re at it, let’s end the common misconception that women participating in safe, casual sex do not respect themselves enough to wait it out. Quit looking for an explanation beyond the most obvious one. Which is, we have sexual urges too. And sue us for not pushing them down further and further like we’ve been forced to do for so many years in the past. 

Newsflash: we are not porcelain dolls, and sometimes we really don’t want to wait it out. So why should we have to? 

Over the many years of creation, women have overcome tragedy, oppression, rape, and widespread discrimination — some of which we still fight against and witness today. So please, what is it that compels so many to believe there is some compulsion we cannot overcome and must, therefore, climb into the hands of another man? 

Are we really that misjudged that we are to be thought of as so weak? We are biologically stronger than that, and I’m ready to hear something better and a little more laughable. 

The 21st century woman is not demanded to live in a timid or reserved nature like we were for so many years. That was a different era which we have already triumphed.  

So if we are all about equality amongst the sexes, it’s time we start delivering that in every aspect of life. Because ultimately, our sexual urges are our own to do with as we please.

And even if my one-night stand with my husband wouldn’t have resulted in us still being together, six years and five kids later, it still wouldn’t be wrong.

I’ve had other one-night stands with other men in my life, and while I do regret some of them, I don’t regret or feel poorly about myself because of them. My husband knows about some of them too, and I’ve never been and never will be scolded or shamed for my past. I was living life as a single woman with no children or responsibilities, enjoying my sexuality. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

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