Now’s about the time of year when panic sets in over what to get that special dad in your life. If you’re anything like me, that gift is often a piece of printed paper with the gift they would have been opening on Father’s Day pictured on it (were I to have my shit together). Not this year, friends — behold the meat candle.
A1, a steak sauce produced by KraftFoods, is selling meat-scented candles this year and you’re going to want to get your mitts on these puppies, stat.
Anyone else’s mouth watering?
Choose from “Burger,” “Backyard BBQ,” or “Original Meat” scents which are guaranteed to fill your house with the aroma of fresh beef.
According to the site, the “Original” smells like, well, original meat. It doesn’t specify what type of animal burning smell it is exactly, but we’ll assume it’s some sort of hunk of meat that you can slather with A1. It also pairs nicely with “bad dad jokes,” so I’m personally going to need one for every room in our home.
Each candle can be yours for the low, low price of $14.99. It’s a little steep for a pile of wax, but this one burns for a whole 50-70 hours and makes your entire house smell like meat. Fine, take my money.
Sure, you could get the dads in your life a golf ball-shaped coffee mug that says “Fore the best dad” on it (it seemed funny at the time) or a set of tools you both know will never see the light of day, but why bother when everything in your home could smell like freshly cooked beef? You won’t even have to cook a big, fancy steak dinner because, hello, the house already smells like you put in the effort. This is a goddamn miracle.
“Father’s Day gifts are always the same,” a press release from A1 reads. “Year after year, it’s another tie, a book, a bottle of cologne, or a mug saying world’s greatest dad. They are a truly unique gift that will celebrate Dad with an added bonus. They will evoke memories of Dad’s cooking and grilling using A.1. sauce and – they smell amazing.”
And really, even if you don’t have a special dad in your life to celebrate, this seems like the sort of gift that keeps on giving, regardless of the holiday. The smell of freshly cooked meat wafting from your windows is sure to make you the hit of the neighborhood.