It’s pretty damn hard being a mum in this day and age.
There’s so much expectation to be the perfect parent, the doting wife or partner, having a successful career whilst ensuring you are also very present in the lives of your children. It’s a tough gig and if you’re anything like me you feel like you’re failing at most of the above 99% of the time.
We are our own worst enemies. But, to be honest there’s a lot of school mums out there who don’t help the situation either. They get in cliques and when you’re new to the school it’s really difficult to find your spot and feel comfortable among your parenting peers. Just as children find it overwhelming to start school, it can often be the same for mums.
I’ll admit it; my parenting style is fairly relaxed. I never know when homework is due, what day swimming is and we are late a lot of the time. It’s not because I don’t care; it’s just who I am and in turn my kids are the same; even if they don’t want to be. I try. I really do to make sure we are organised, but I swear I just don’t know what happens every morning.
Well actually I do. I spend it yelling loudly while drinking cold coffee and hoping that lost shoe will magically appear.
I ask over and over if everyone has brushed their teeth, their hair and if they have everything ready for school. Everyone yells “Yes!” and the older 2 race to the car arguing about who is in the front seat. I chase my 3 year old around the house to put pants on and when we finally get on the road, someone forgot their library books.
I’m not one of those mums who’s at the school constantly…
I don’t volunteer at the tuckshop or for reading rotations. I don’t stop and chat much with other mums in the morning or after school, and it’s not because I don’t want to. I literally turn up and slow down just enough to ensure my kids don’t get gravel rash as I boot them from my car. I speed off, blow a kiss and pretty much hope for the best. Then go about my busy day.
I have realised my choice in music is highly inappropriate for school pick up and drop off times… and I’m not even sorry. Swearing while singing is different to just normal swearing in our house. Projects are generally late and I’m the mum who throws a sheet over my kid on book week dress up day cause we forgot it was even on. He’s a ghost okay!
I forget days I’m supposed to be there to watch my children get awards and send them to school in their uniform for free dress.
But despite all of that I’m not a shitty parent.
I am busy, my kids are busy and we do a fucking lot between the hours of 6:00am and 7:30pm. My kids swim, do gymnastics, play cricket and train for all of them. I work full time hours and try keeping the house at least semi-liveable. Kids want feeding every day apparently, even though they complain about what I cook. I don’t have a lot of money and we do what we can to make shit work. I honestly don’t have time to pretend I’m the epitome of parenting perfection.
But what do mums like me get in return?
Judgy school mums whose holier than thou perspective of themselves absolutely pisses me off. I’m not talking about the ones who at least smile if they see you. The ones that say G’day or attempt to give you a wave while you whisk past them in the tuck shop. Or the ones who offer to drop your kid to training because they know you have to be in 3 places at once. Those women are gold.