Am I done? I don’t know… but what I do know is it will be up to: ME. And my husband.
I thought with six little babes that feeling would have passed. That urge to hold a little person in my arms; to breastfeed, to be up all hours of the night. And now it’s different because on no sleep I have to then get up at 6 a.m. And make a space project for my 6-year-old I’ve forgotten about.
Phew. Maybe I am done. But that will be MY decision.
And you can make the “over-population” comments. Like my one extra child that I want to raise right and invest time on is going to make such a HUGE difference to the mass population; come on.
And the “they do it for governement payments.”
If you knew one damn thing about raising six children with the four jobs that we have, it’s that as of next year we will receive NOTHING.
And: “money does not a good person make.”
If you think raising children is about money, you know nothing. But it doesn’t hurt which is why we work BLOODY hard.
But you know what concerns me.
How much I still care what people think.
I mean, yes, I care if my doctor thinks it’s safe.
And yes, I care how my husband feels.
How it will effect our family unit and our children.
Our beautiful grandparents.
But I give power to the masses.
I think, what would my followers think?
What would our extended family think?
What would our friends think?
What would other doctors and midwives think?
And then I stopped thinking about that.
And I started thinking about all of the women who feel like it’s not there choice to think about it?
I thought about all of the women with two children or three children or seven children.
That haven’t advocated for themselves.
Who have thought that because someone had told them a number — a family member, a doctor or a midwife — that was the number they had to live by.
I wanted to let them know that there are options. You are entitled to ask questions. To seek answers. From medical professionals, from family, from friends.
I wanted to let them know that I am not judging them.
And that I’m DONE judging myself.
Someone once said to me, “You’ll never regret the children that you do have.” And they were spot on.
I’ll have as many kids as I damn well like.
Well, me and my husband.
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