From the Confessional: Thoughts About Maskholes

From the Confessional: Thoughts About Maskholes


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If there’s one word that encapsulates 2020, it very well could be “masks.” Who knew this would be the hill so many would die on—the cause so many would flip their shit about, go viral, and risk losing their jobs over? All because of simply wearing a face covering to shop at Costco?

But here we are. Divided on so many issues—gun control, women’s right to choose, Republicans vs. Democrats, conservatives vs. liberals, Trump vs. Biden. And, in 2020, the masked vs. the maskholes.

The Americans willing to do their part to fight the worst pandemic we’ve seen in our lifetime vs. those who won’t because somehow wearing a mask to go grab a 6-pack infringes upon their “rights.”

So it’s no surprise that such a hot-button issue shows up in our confessional a lot. We all see the videos of grown ass adults throwing temper tantrums and terrorizing employees who ask them to comply with the store’s mask policy. We all have that stubborn uncle who, despite 130k U.S. deaths, no NBA season, no MLB season, no college sports, school closures in every state, and the disastrous effect COVID-19 has had on pretty much every industry worldwide, still won’t admit that this is real. “Masks are for sheep!” he says. No, Uncle Carl, masks are for those who care, who believe in science, and who want to live and help others live.

Here are some Scary Mommy confessions about the frustrations we are all feeling as this pandemic drags on thanks to all the Uncle Carls out there.

Confessional #25788691

“My online friend is always whining about how she and her husband are high risk, but they go joy-shopping, they eat out at restaurants, and they’re going to have a dinner with 10 family members with no social distancing and no masks. Wish she’d STFU.”

Confessional #25788505

“Ugh! Neighbor who is a nurse and should know better, is having an mlm party. Seriously must have 50 people in her house and yard, no masks or social distancing. Just want to spray them all with Lysol”

Confessional #25788561

“I think adults who don’t wear masks inside in public are assholes.”

Confessional #25787066

“I’m in Florida. I want to harass all the non-masked folks I see.”

Confessional #25783599

“I don’t like how quickly my community is “returning to normal” from COVID quarantine plus how people act like it never happened. Did they forget people died? Wish people cared enough about their fellow man and wear masks and gloves again.”

Maskholes are the worst. They are 2020’s scourge on society as they intentionally undue any efforts we all make by quarantining and mask-wearing—all in the name of their “rights.” Because apparently they are the only ones that matter.

Confessional #25788293

“I’m scared about getting Coronavirus! I disinfect constantly and rarely leave the house. I worry people in AZ just don’t care. No social distance OR mask!”

Confessional #25787392

“I couldn’t sleep last night because of anxiety. Couldn’t stop thinking about the virus and all the arguing and the masks and how many ignorant people are out there and I can’t get away from them where I live. I’m so tired. So so tired.”

Confessional #25782785

“Genuinely worried with so many people not social distancing or wearing masks. Parents letting their kids hang w/friends. Don’t feel comfortable being my colleagues because they are these people.”

Confessional #25782131

“I am torn between being so hurt, and so mad, at non-mask-wearing, non-social-distancing folks looking at & talking about us like we are insane. With my health issues,my family is scared for me…I am more scared for them. Snide isn’t kind, or healthy.”

Confessional #25775540

“I started sewing face masks for my 5 and 7 year olds. The finished ones fit, but they just look so damn small. This is freaking me out all over again”

The truth is, we’re scared. We’re scared of sending our kids back to school. We’re scared of the effects of long-term isolation. We’re scared of the not-knowing—when will it end? Will there be a vaccine? Will it be tested well enough to ensure its safety? Will we all come out of this okay?

Confessional #25787795

“It’s only a matter of time before there’s a video of my mom being a “Karen” and refusing to wear a mask in a store”

Confessional #25785122

“H has decided to work from home as much as possible because someone in his office tested positive for Covid. He refuses to wear a mask when grocery shopping though. Now I have to see his idiotic face all day.”

Confessional #25787504

“My dumbass MIL is going out to eat in restaurants unmasked and is also going to stay with us during vacation. I am HIGHLY annoyed.”

And when you’re related to or have to live with a maskhole, it’s 100 times worse.

Confessional #25787249

“If we end up under another lockdown because people won’t wear their masks, that’s fine by me. We saved nearly $3k on daycare fees last time AND I don’t have to see my inlaws? Win/win.”

Confessional #25786694

“I actually really like wearing a mask because no one tells me to smile.”

Confessional #25778061

“I guess the good thing about wearing mask everywhere is that I don’t have to wax my mustache:)”

However, as in all things, there’s a silver lining in all this shit—sometimes you reeeeeaaaaaaally have to look for it, though.

Confessional #25778261

“I’m not worrying about Covid anymore. I need to sleep, I need to stop gaining weight, I need to stop worrying about my kids dying. I’m going to put on my mask and my gloves and get shit done. Life has to move on as safely as possible.”

Confessional #25777605

“I work in a place where masking up is mandatory & I’ve got to tell you, nothing encourages dental hygiene like being forced to smell your own breath for 9 hours. I’ve brushed 3 times today and it’s only 1:30.”

Confessional #25777401

“I have tan lines on my face from wearing a face mask.”

Confessional #25781691

“I just spent time with two of my co-workers today in person (6 feet away and with masks on) but omg it felt good to hang out with MY people by myself without DH and DD around.”

The bottom line is that this is our new normal, at least for now, so we need to make the best of it. Yeah, you might get “mask tan lines” now. You might have to brush your teeth 10 times a day. But if wearing a mask means you get to see friends and family again and return to even the slightest sense of normalcy, embrace it.

Confessional #25781317

“Can’t stop buying cute & pretty cloth face masks! I mean, we’re only supposed to wear them once before washing, they’re supposed to be like underwear right? Plus this covid shit looks like it’s going to be here awhile…”

Confessional #25779600

“I’ll happily wear a mask to protect others, for as long as it takes.”

Confessional #25777793

“I have been sewing facemasks. When I am done with this batch I’ll be at 103. I smoke a bowl and pray while I make them. I hope the stitches capture both good vibes and a little jesus.”

Confessional #25788141

“I’m 30, immunosuppressed and live in NY. I asked my doctor of 20 years if I could get a haircut tomorrow. I haven’t had one in 6 months bc of COVID. She looked at me, said yes, walked into her office and came back with an N95 mask to give me. I cried.”

Not everyone is a maskhole. And not everyone only sees the negative in these trying times. There are always those bright souls who find the light in the dark. The peace in the storm. And we are so grateful for them.

Confessional #25786799

“A staff member at camp tested positive… F*CK… now what?!? I’m struggling to understand why people think Covid isn’t real or dangerous. How hard is it to wear a mask?”

Confessional #25776589

“I live in the western part of North Carolina. Practically no one is social distancing or wearing masks. I am appalled at the selfishness and stupidity.”

Confessional #25784835

“Lady screamed at me for wearing a mask at the store. Am I bothering you by trying to keep my distance and wear my mask? No. Then shut up Karen. I’d break social distance to fight a bitch like that.”

Confessional #25784563

“Honestly don’t get why people get upset about wearing a mask. And I get anxious and claustrophobic when wearing one. I don’t know who you are or where you’ve been so wear the damn thing! It’s not 100% protection but it’s better than nothing!”

But yeah, maskholes suck. They are making this last longer. Which will make the economy suffer more. And more people will get sick and die. And our kids will have to wait longer before returning to school. Which means parents will have to wait longer before returning to work. All because people refuse to be inconvenienced. Because the truth is, mask refusal is not about their “rights”—it’s about not having to do something they don’t want to do, so much so that they are willing to risk lives for it.

We’re well into the summer now and this beast isn’t leaving. FFS, wear a damn mask and join the rest of us in defeating COVID-19.





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