Delivery Driver Dips Testicles In Salsa A Customer Ordered

Delivery Driver Dips Testicles In Salsa A Customer Ordered

Image via Blount County Sheriff/Silvia Elena Castaeda Puchetta/EyeEm/Getty Images

A delivery driver decided to put his nuts in a container of salsa meant for a customer and OMG, why?

Men, do you need help? Are things OK? Blink once for yes, twice for hell yes. We ask because we’re newly horrified by the latest news of Men Being Weird And Awful. A man delivering food allegedly dipped his testicles into an order of salsa he was bringing to a customer. No, we’re not kidding. Yes, oh yes, how we wish we were.

31-year-old Howard Matthew Webb of Tennessee was in the passenger seat of a delivery vehicle while another employee drove to their destination. According to Fox 12, Webb was caught on video dipping his doo-dads into the spicy condiment before getting it to its destination.

Delivery Driver Dips His Nuts In Salsa And Like, Are Men OK?

Like, how is this a news story? What drove this man to the decision to open a container of salsa meant for an innocent Mexican take-out customer and push his nads into it? And allow it to be filmed by the driver?

Apparently, it was all about the Benjamins — or lack thereof. The driver allegedly shared the video online with the caption, “This is what you get when you give an 89 cents tip for an almost 30-minute drive.” Webb was arrested last week on charges of adulteration of food and I’m never getting take-out delivered to me again.

Unfortunately, the video of the baffling incident is still making the rounds. NSFW. Or life in general because EW.

News 10 shared the horrifying footage where Webb can be heard saying, “Oh, it feels good on my [testicles,].”

What in the entire hell.

Dinner Delivered, the service that employed the driver and Webb, has fired the driver and sent information about her identity to the police as well. Yes, that’s right, his accomplice was a woman. The arrest warrant stated that the food came from a local Mexican restaurant and the customer was refunded for the, um, ball-tainted food.

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