You may not consider going to the dentist something to laugh about, but that’s about to change. The next time you’re headed to have your teeth examined, calm your nerves with a little dental humor ahead of your appointment. After all, you’re paying for those pearly whites — might as well show them off with a big smile.
And while you’re at it, why not share these funnies? Even if your dentist’s fill-ossophy is the molar opposite of yours, she’ll still find these jokes hilarious.
- What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
- The dentist says my teeth are like a string of pearls.
Each one has a hole through it!
- Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth. But don’t worry; it’ll just take five minutes.
Patient: And how much will it cost?
Dentist: It’s $90.
Patient: $90 for just a few minutes’ work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.
- Why did the two dentists get married?
Because they were so enameled of each other.
- Why does a dentist seem moody?
Because he always looks down in the mouth.
- What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque.
- What did the werewolf eat after he’d had his teeth taken out?
- A local dentist was arrested for dealing drugs.
To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I’ve been going to him for 10 years and never knew he was a dentist.
- Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!
- Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
A month later he was picking his teeth.
- What do dentists and the TSA have in common?
- Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc, it isn’t all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the 4 o’clock game.
- Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
I don’t know; the dentist kept it.
- Left my comb at the dentist.
Now it’s a fine-toothed comb.
- What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?
Fill me in when you get back.
- The dentist said that he could knock me out with gas, or he could use a big metallic rock.
I said ether/ore.
- Why did the dentist make a poor date for the manicurist?
They fought tooth and nail!
- Why did the Pharaoh visit the dentist?
Because Egypt his tooth….
- What game did the dentist play when she was a child?
Caps and robbers.
- What did Al Gore say when he went to the dentist?
“I have an Inconvenient Tooth.”
- How many dentists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to administer the anesthetic, one to extract the lightbulb, and one to offer the socket mouthwash.
- What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?
He braces himself.
- Where do dentists move when they retire?
- What is the dentist’s favorite movie?
Plaque to the Future.
- Why do dentists like potatoes?
Because they are so filling.
- What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea?
- Why did the guru refuse Novocain at the dentist?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
- Why did the phone go to the dentist?
Because it had Bluetooth.
- What did the judge say to the dentist?
“Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?”
- What do you call x-rays taken by a dentist?
- Why didn’t the dentist ask his secretary out?
He was already taking out a tooth.
- What’s a dentist’s favorite dinosaur?
- What do you call a dentist’s advice?
- The dentist asked me if I had sensitive toothpaste at home.
I told her toothpaste and I don’t talk bout our feelings.
- What kind of filling do you want in your tooth?
- What did the dentist see at the North Pole?
A molar bear.
- My dentist has a TV on the ceiling so patients can watch shows while he works.
He calls it Netflix and Drill.
- What’s another name for a dentist’s office?
A filling station.
- Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist’s window?
Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
- How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His drill slipped.
- My dentist told me I don’t floss enough.
So I started taking dance classes.
- What does a dentist call an astronaut’s cavity?
A black hole.
- How is going to the dentist like those movies where a character gets interrogated?
It’s pretty clear when you’re lying — and if you don’t come clean, you might lose a tooth.
- What did the dentist say to the golfer?
“You have a hole in one.”
- What did the dentist say to the judge in court?
“You can’t handle the tooth!”
- Why did the deer need braces?
He had buck teeth.
- How do you fix a broken tooth?
With tooth paste!
- What is a dentist’s favorite soda?
All of them.
- Patient: What did you do before you became a dentist?
Dentist: I was in the Army.
Patient: What did you do in the Army?
Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.
- Why couldn’t the dentist’s family find the spot where he was buried?
Because there was no plaque on it.
- Why did the donut go to the dentist?
He needed a filling!
- Why did Frosty the Snowman have to go to the dentist?
He has a very bad case of frost bite.
- What was the dentist doing in Panama?
Looking for the Root Canal!
- Who was the most dangerous job in Transylvania?
- Dentist: When did you last floss?
Me: You should know — you did it.
- My dentist removed the wrong tooth.
It was acci-dental.
- The FBI just raided a local dentist office.
They are currently performing a cavity search.
- Why has a dentist’s job gotten so much easier?
Because all the kids are flossing all the time now.
- Dentist: You need a crown.
Patient: Finally, someone who understands me.
- Father: Don’t you feel better now that you’ve gone to the dentist?
Son: Sure do… he wasn’t in.
- I’ve been to the dentist so many times…
I know the drill.
- A man got kicked out of the dentist’s office for using all the nitrous oxide…
He got the last laugh, though.
- A group of nagging dentists discovered a new chemical element.
It’s called Flossphorus.
- A man and a woman are traveling on a train.
Woman: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Man: Nice! Are you single?
Woman: No. I’m a dentist.
- Why should you be nice to your dentist?
Because they have fillings too.
- What do you call a dentist who can’t stop working on teeth?
An abscessive compulsive.
- Why did the tree go to the dentist?
To get a root canal.
- What did the dentist say to the computer?
This won’t hurt a byte.
- What do you call two dentists who live across the country from each other?
- I went to the dentist today and she seemed very distracted.
I think she was brushing me off.
- Why didn’t the patient show up at the dentist for their root canal?
They lost their nerve.