Ah, chocolate: one of life’s simple pleasures. Whether you like it dark, milk, or white, there is something so satisfying and decadent about enjoying some chocolate. But aside from being delicious, chocolate can also be funny. Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny…or at least mildly amusing. So we’ve rounded up 31 of the best chocolate jokes, puns, and one-liners you’ll want to savor again and again. Best part is they’re all kid-friendly funnies.
- What kind of candy is never on time?
- What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
- What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?
- Why did the donut visit the dentist?
He needed a chocolate filling
- I heard a joke about chocolate bars and it wasn’t that funny. So I just snickered…
- What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?
- What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?
- Which chocolate is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?
- What do you call stolen cocoa?
- What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?
A candy baaa
- What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar
- If Bob has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have?
- What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar
- What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?
- What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day?
The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
- What fruit loves chocolate?
- There are two types of people in this world:
People who love chocolate and liars.
- What is the opposite of Chocolate?
- What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?
Almond Joy To The World.
- Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because it lost its filling!
- Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?
They had a Baby, Ruth.
- Knock Knock!
Candy boy who?
Candy boy have another piece of chocolate?
- What did the M&M go to college?
Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
- What does it do before it rains candy?
- Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off. One said “Happy Easter!” What did the other one say?
- Opened a Mars bar once.
Discovered martians love gin.
- Life is like a box of chocolates…
- A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, “Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you.” The boy looks over and responds, “My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five”. The man replies, “And he ate that much chocolate?”
“No” says the boy, “But he minded his own business.”
- What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk?
- Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?
He had a chip in his tooth.
- Why is a Toblerone triangular?
So it fits in the box.