20 Awkward Products You Should Be Glad You Can Buy Online

20 Awkward Products You Should Be Glad You Can Buy Online

20 Awkward Products You Should Be Glad You Can Buy Online

When I was in Year 9 at school, I had run out of sanitary items.  Mum gave me some cash to go buy some at the supermarket before school that day.  But the thing was, there was only a male checkout operator on at the time – and I was mortified. It took about 45 minutes of courage before I put that packet of tampons on the bench to be scanned.

He didn’t even LOOK at them, even though I was blushing furiously, stammering and sweating rather profusely.  The worst thing was I was late for school and had to explain to the Principal why I was late… That was double mortifying… Sure I’m positive the Principal, Mrs Parker had had her period some time in her life but I think she forgot what it was like to be young and shit scared!

The thing is – it shouldn’t matter what we buy, we shouldn’t be embarrassed to purchase the items we need, but it is just human nature….

So here is a list of items I prefer to grab online instead of in person because I live in a small town and I don’t need Dorothy from the Shoe Shop knowing I have hemorrhoids or like to bleach my arsehole.

Hemorrhoid Cream

When you have bum grapes by the dozen, nothing makes the bunches feel better than hemorrhoid cream, applied thick!

Image for Rectinol Ointment - 50G from AmcalSHOCK VALUE: If you want a horrific before and after photo – check out this listing on Amazon – ick!

Tampons & Pads

Okay not so embarrassing NOW, and I’m sure youngin’s these days are far too hip to be embarrassed by such things, but I had to include it as just thinking about my ‘First Tampon Buying Experience’ makes me blush. Plus if you buy them in bulk you get a good discount so #bargainshopper

Image result for tampax pearl

Via Amazon Australia


Anal Wipes

To sooth an ass on fire, anal wipes make your butt feel minty fresh and ready for the day!


Anal Bleach

If you too want a really peachy looking bum hole, then you will be buying anal bleach – unless you are far braver than I am and can get down on all fours with your cheeks spread while a beautician applies a caustic solution on your chocolate starfish.  Personally, if I’m bleaching my ring-hole, I want to do it at home… With the door locked… Whilst the kids are away on holidays… And the alarm system is on.

Grab it from Pharmacy Online

Got an Itchy Vag? Might be a Yeast Infection

If you have a vagina, I’m pretty sure you would have had thrush at some stage in your life… You only need it once to know you should have some on hand.. because it is hard to wait for Australia Post were your vag is itchier than one-armed man with crabs.

Taro Clotrimazole 7 Vaginal Cream 45 g (Pack of 3)Via Amazon Australia

Solo Massagers (i.e. Vibrators)

Oh don’t blush – we all have one. And if you don’t – you should.  But we don’t want to head down to the local Sex Shop to peruse the selection while Barry over there is staring at you from the cash register with one hand in his pants…  Nope – vibrators should be purchased online.

Via Adult Shop


Pregnancy Tests

We might want to keep it to ourselves, it might be an accident, it might be a surprise…but other people don’t need to know about it!

Via Amazon Australia


Chafing Gel

I really don’t want to talk to Donna at the chemist and explain to her that I have a rash under my breasts and between my thighs and between my bum cheeks……

Via Amcal Chemist

Image for Neat Feat Action 3B Cream - 100g from Amcal

Anti-Snoring Devices

My snoring has often been compared to a Jumbo Jet taking off……But I don’t want anyone to KNOW about it!

Via Amcal Chemist

Image for Snore MD from Amcal


Anti-Diarrhea Products

Shitting through the eye of a needle?  Got the green apple splatter? Scared to cough or sneeze? Is the Hershey Squirts keeping you from doing the things you really want?  Got dishonorable discharge? Is the brown flame erupting from your corn bomber?

Via Amcal ChemistImage for Imodium Zapid 2mg - 6 Tablets from Amcal


Personal Lubricant

If you have a dusty crusty dustbowl or your catchers mitt is feeling a bit cotton mouth – you need lube. But we don’t want Cynthia from Coles know that!

Via Amazon Australiaワberlube Luxury Lubricant 100Ml



Some people are embarrassed buying love balloons. Buy your wang wrappers online instead!

Via Amazon AustraliaLELO HEX Condoms Re-Engineered - Ultra Thin Condom for Extra Pleasure, Lightly Lubricated (12 pack), OriginaL, 3 pack, 3 Grams


Toe Fungus Cream or Toe Itch Cream

Toe Fungus looks nasty!  When I see it I instantly think ‘Why didn’t you wear thongs in the showers at the local pool’. Did you know it can also take up to a YEAR of treatment to get rid of it.

Via Amazon Australia

Ego Resolve Tinea Powder 20G keeps skin dry & helps prevent spread of infection


Hair Thinning Products

Ladies going all Phil Collins up top is not cool – but it happens more often than you think!  But does Nathan with the glasses that works at the chemist need to know you are follically challenged?  No – he doesn’t!

Via Amazon Australia


Nit Cream

Just talking about nits makes my head itch.  My kids have had them.. but they are a dirty word!

Via Amazon Australia


Got Crabs?

Are things itching down below?  Got some critters in your fur pie? Is your downstairs mustache infected by saber-toothed crotch crickets? Got galloping dandruff in your minge tinsel?

Via Amazon Australia

Wart Remover

This one’s probably the number one on the list you don’t want to experience buying in the store! It’s okay, at least you can be anonymous when purchasing online! Don’t use this type on your genital areas – if you have a penile predicament or a rocky cave, go see a Doctor!

Via Amazon Australia

Incontinence Items

Look ladies – after we have babies we leak like a waterfall when we jump or are startled.  Or for elderly people – that don’t want people to know they wear nappies…. even if it is a fetish!

Via Amazon AustraliaPoise Incontinence Pads, Maximum Absorbency, Long, 12 Count (Pack of 6)


What’s your awkward experience?



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